


Now You're Just a Memory

by Local_Queer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012!Phan, Amazingphil - Freeform, Angst, Breakup, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, amazingphil and danisnotonfire - Freeform, danisnotonfire - Freeform, phan breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5094308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Local_Queer/pseuds/Local_Queer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always been something... off about Dan and Phil's relationship. No one knew what it was until one day, it stopped. There was nothing. No love, no happiness, just memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Now You're Just a Memory

**Author's Note:**

> The ending is sort of shit, but oh well. Enjoy!

                Four in the morning is not the ideal time for Dan to be pacing in his room; his footsteps as loud as an elephants stampeding. At least it seems that loud to Phil who was lying in their shared bed. He debates on getting up and pulling Dan back down into the bed so he could finally get some sleep, or letting him pace until he can’t anymore. “What’s wrong, Dan?” he asks; his voice groggy from sleep. Dan stops pacing as soon as he hears Phil speak. “N-Nothing; just thinking.” He shakes his head and gets into bed again, pulling the duvet up to his chin and facing away from Phil. Another clear sign that something was wrong: he’s lying as far away from Phil as possible. It’s been this way for months now. “It’s not ‘nothing,’ Dan. Tell me what’s bothering you.” Phil is too tired to not pry. “I said it’s nothing,” Dan says bitterly. Phil rolls his eyes and sighs, shaking his head and going back to sleep.

                When they wake up, the flat is colder than usual and there’s no good-morning kiss like there usually is. _What the fuck is going on with him?_ Phil thinks as he looks at the empty space beside him. He can hear Dan in the making breakfast and suddenly, he doesn’t want to go near the kitchen. Instead, he gets up and gets dressed, then tells Dan he’s going out for a while.

                Phil doesn’t know how long he’s been walking, but he’s not sure if he cares. _Maybe Dan will actually give a shit about me again if I just don’t come home for a while._ He shakes the thought from his head and keeps walking, trying to think about what could have caused Dan’s behaviour. He thinks back to the first time it happened. It was their anniversary.

                **October 19, 2011**

 _“Dan? Aren’t you coming to bed?” Phil asked as he walked into the lounge. “I… I’m actually going to sleep in my room tonight.” Dan rubbed the back of his neck and avoided eye contact, obviously hiding something. “Oh... Okay, I guess. Goodnight then,” Phil said quietly and went to bed, trying not to over think Dan’s decision._ Dan always sleeps in my room with me. It’s been that way forever… _Phil sighed and shook his head, changing into his pyjamas and getting into bed._

Dan has been avoiding all physical contact with him since then. It scared Phil because Dan was not just staying away from him; he wasn’t even acting like they were friends, let alone boyfriends. _Did those two years mean nothing to him? Did I just waste my time with him?_ Phil groans in frustration and resists the urge to go to the bar, or pull his hair until it hurts and turns around to start the walk home.

                Meanwhile, Dan is lying in Phil’s bed and hugging his pillow to his chest, relishing the smell of Phil’s shampoo and cologne whilst he’s gone. Suddenly, he bursts into tears and sobs into the pillow loudly. _I fucked up so fucking bad. I should have just talked to him. Maybe he’ll understand if I just explain why I’ve been acting like this._ When the door to the flat opens, Dan doesn’t bother to get up. He just pulls the duvet over him and keeps Phil’s pillow held tight. “Dan? I’m back!” Phil calls out from the lounge. Dan hates the way there’s no enthusiasm in Phil’s voice. He doesn’t respond, just closing his eyes and trying to enjoy his last few minutes of peace before they inevitably fight. “Dan?” Phil walks into his room, sighing softly when he looks at Dan. “You awake?” He walks over to the bed and brushes Dan’s hair out of his face. “Nope; I’m asleep,” Dan says sarcastically and lifts up the edge of the duvet. Phil smiles and takes off his shoes, getting into bed and pulling Dan into his arms. Not knowing how long this peacefulness will last, Phil enjoys the feeling of having Dan in his arms again. He mutters a small “I love you,” and closes his eyes. When he wakes up, Dan is gone.

                “What the fuck is going on, Daniel?” Phil stands in front of Dan with his arms crossed. “ _Nothing_ is wrong! How many times do I have to tell you that?” Dan’s voice is getting louder as he gets more defensive. “You don’t touch me at all, we haven’t gone on a date in ages when we used to go on one every two weeks, and you haven’t told me you love me in four fucking months, Dan! Something is wrong and I’m not letting you leave until you tell me what it is!” He’s yelling now; his voice laced with venom. Dan cowers slightly at Phil’s tone. “I’ve just been going through some stuff lately!” Dan clears his throat and straightens his back, trying to seem confident. “Then you should have told me that you were going through something! I’m your best friend _and_ your boyfriend! You know you can tell me anything!” Phil’s voice isn’t as angry anymore; knowing that Dan doesn’t do well with being yelled at. “But it’s stupid and pathetic! If I tell you what’s wrong, I’m just going to sound like some whiny teenager!” Dan balls his fists and feels his false confidence crumbling quickly. Phil chuckles bitterly and shakes his head. “You actually believe that I would think that?” He sighs and steps closer to Dan, pulling him into a hug even though Dan tries to wriggle out of his arms. “I love you so much, Dan. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.” Dan stops moving and sighs; defeated. “I’ve just been over-thinking and stuff… I just feel so insecure about myself and I constantly feel like you’re going to get tired of me and leave me, so I’ve been trying to distance myself so if you do leave me, it won’t hurt as bad…” Dan’s voice grows quiet and he melts into Phil’s embrace. “I am _not_ leaving you, Dan. I’m staying right here with you as long as you want me. I swear I am.” Phil kisses the top of Dan’s head and rubs his back. “Please never leave me,” Dan begs. “Never.”

                The next month is a whirlwind of emotions and there’s so much more fighting. It scared them both because they weren’t fixing anything. All that seemed to happen was more fighting and less love. They tried to go on a date to see if they were just stressed from being cooped up in their flat, but Dan ended up leaving before their meals even arrived. Phil was at his wits end; trying to figure out what went wrong. They were so in love for two years; surely this couldn’t be the end. There were two wonderful, incredible, love filled years where just looking at the other made their heart skip a beat. Love like that was supposed to last forever, wasn’t it? They could get through this, right?

                It seemed absolutely impossible, but it got worse. Dan wasn’t a violent person by any means. He had trouble even killing a fly, let alone the man he once promised forever to. So, when Dan slapped Phil, Phil knew that he didn’t love him anymore. There was no apology; just a silence where the two digested what just happened. Then Phil was gone.

                It didn’t take long for Phil to pack his bags and find a new apartment. They kissed for a final time, muttered an apology, and then left each other’s lives for good. Neither will admit that they cried that night. They had both lost their best friend and the person that used to mean the most to them.

                They didn’t know why the love that they once shared suddenly stopped. They had been so good for each other. Their friends even calling them soulmates, but something was always wrong. Maybe it was inevitable for them to drift apart. A love that strong can destroy anyone in an instant. Not everyone gets a fairytale ending. Dan and Phil didn’t get theirs; at least not with each other. There’s no making up, no begging for the other to take them back, for there was nothing more than memories of feelings of what used to be. That’s all they were to each other: memories; just happy, tragic, saddening memories.


End file.
